Life Happened To Me
I lived a pretty charmed, typical suburban life. Deciding at a young age that I had dreams and goals. I was going to see the world, have a career in the fashion industry, live in California, marry an incredible man, and have a few kids? Sure why not! Live in a cozy beach house and maybe even own a vineyard! Then… life happened.
Some of those dreams came true and some did not. For the most part though, because I wrapped plans around those dreams and took some courageous steps, I’ve lived a life that has been mostly fulfilling. However, I had a secret weapon- ‘image management’. I often portrayed a life that may have seemed more ‘perfect’ than it actually was. I didn’t really open up about the challenges of raising kids with ADHD, concerns in my marriage, fears of not measuring up and being judged. I didn’t allow myself to be vulnerable. I often wore a mask and became what I believed was expected of me. I allowed what others thought to become how I showed up in the world. I didn’t gain awareness of this until I was in my mid 40’s after hiring a coach and did the deep internal work that gave me the courage to rip off of the mask of my false self and embrace my true identity.
I got the job in the fashion industry in my early 20’s, the house in the burbs ( not California but just outside of Toronto), a couple of cars, saw some parts of the world, mom to three wonderful kids, and a husband who called me his best friend. My life virtually had no real challenges. ‘Living The Dream’ as they say. It appeared successful by every account.
Then, crisis hit. Infidelity wormed its way into our marriage. I was completely unprepared. My world imploded and I had to navigate through the most devastating experience of my life. This wrecked
me. I was a shattered mess. Completely heartbroken and reeling in the lowest pit with very little self-esteem, I succumbed to the grief cycle and embraced the comfort that sorrow brought. It wasn’t long, however before I realized I didn’t want to stay in this darkness. My identity was at rock bottom. I wasn’t sure who I was anymore. Was everything a lie? I had wrapped my worth around my roles and titles. None of that seemed to matter anymore. I wanted to know “Who Am I?”
Through counseling, a recovery program, a loving community, my faith, and coaching, I saw LIGHT. I found something stirring inside me; some old dreams & some new dreams! Hope bubbled up. Completely intrigued by the discoveries and transformation I experienced, I enrolled in the highly respected Coaches Training Institute (CTI) and graduated as a Co-Active Coach in 2015. A second chance at life. One that now felt WHOLE and real and exciting. As the pieces of my life were being put back together in a new mosaic, a new normal, a brilliant transition took place and my confidence soared. I am now living my life in an authentic way. Through my own experience I am now able to compassionately come alongside others who are facing challenges and go from just surviving to thriving! Seeing others transform their lives and embrace their “Inspired Intentional Identity” energizes me beyond my wildest dreams.
My husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary with a trip of a lifetime to Paris and Italy with our 3 kids in the fall of 2017! Instead of wallowing in our sorrow and deep grief we determined to embrace our bruises and scars and redesign a life that is now even more beautiful for being broken. Things grow with effort, time and work. This is where life comes ALIVE!
